Disconnection, is it this?
I wish I could gauge my normalcy by peering into other peoples heads for a while. Maybe that is my fascination with psychology. Maybe that is why I am so analytical. So perpetually lost, so disconnected.
Maybe that IS why sex is so vitally important to me. For a few brief moments I actually feel something. Feel connected. FEEL something. And then I think I am so empathetic, I FEEL things all the time and yet, I am numb. Another case in point of why I am a perpetual enigma, paradox. Can you feel so much of other peoples pain/love/etc you get numb to yourself and your own emotions? Its weird.