Thursday, October 1, 2009

Savior on a Stick - Apparently, the Catholics have (or rather had) the market on this...Go Catholics, Go

Reposted without permission...ninth level of Hell for sure...

OKLAHOMA CITY (EAP) -- The latest craze in Catholic idolism has taken the form of a Jesus lollipop which has been in high demand over the past few weeks in Oklahoma City.

Most of the stores who carry the candy-coated savior on a stick are unable to keep them in stock, due in part to large purchases by local Catholic Churches.

The lollipop consists of a candy Jesus on a stick, combined with bits of chocolate and cinnamon oil mixed in. The flavor of the candy changes as one licks through to the center and to the individual wounds on the wrists and feet of Jesus.

The wounded areas have a strong burning cinnamon flavor which is supposed to represent hell by giving the savior-sucking believers a burning sensation on their tongues, similar to that which is mentioned in the Bible about people not being able to find a drop of water to quench their thirst and hell being a really hot place.

"We think this is a great innovation," said Father Edward Crouton of The Holy Church of Mary in east Oklahoma City during a recent inverview.

"We're thinking of giving up our normal communion ceremonies, and just passing out the Jesus suckers at the door as people arrive to worship."

The Jesus lollipop has drawn ridicule from the more fundamentalist Christian groups, who claim that the candy Jesus is just another idol, and is making a mockery of God.

"It's complete blasphemy," says William Bonner of Riverside Baptist Church. "Jesus would probably throw a fit if he saw people sucking on him. The Catholics have gone way too far with this one," he said.

"We don't see it that way," says Crouton. "Eating symbolic bits of Jesus' flesh and drinking his symbolic blood aren't any worse than sucking on a candy figure of him."

"If people can't suck on a candy Jesus without being ridiculed by other people, then I just don't know what the world is coming to," Crouton said.

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