Sunday, May 12, 2013

Feeling worse

Today has been challenging. In fact, the last few days have been terrible pain wise. I can tell a HUGE difference in my pain level just in the past week. I am sure the stress from all of this isn't helping matters. I am just trying to hold out working 2 more weeks at a minimum. I hope to be in New York after that.

A few friends of mine have mentioned subletting an apartment and I think they are brilliant and that is a fantastic idea. It is way cheaper than a hotel.

I am so stressed this week. I feel like an exposed nerve flailing around in harsh elements. Cracked and parched....raw and stabbing... I am trying my best to stay positive and focused. I am speaking only positivity about the clinical trial. I WILL get in. I WILL go. I WILL have success and be cured.

I just wish I was handling this all better. I think I am fine then something stupid makes me completely lose my mind. Completely melt down into wracking sobs. I wake up crying in the middle of the night and haven't really slept in days.

The pain has just been overwhelming.

Once I get my MRI/MRV done, I want to overnight it to the Dr. I also want them to fax the report that day at a bare minimum to get it into his hands.

I am hopeful.

I just need peace about this.

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